Apex Legends Revealed, Free to Play Battle Royale Now Available On PS4, Xbox One, and PC

Respawn Entertainment, the makers of Titanfall, have announced a new free to play battle royale game in the futuristic FPS franchise called Apex Legends.

Meshing the hero shooter style found in games such as Overwatch with the battle royale genre, Apex Legends will adopt the free to play method, bring the unique take on the widely popular genre.

Rumors began hitting the forums and messages boards late last week, with Kotaku’s Jason Schreier breaking news that the game’s initial reveal would be take place later that weekend, with a possible soft launch on Monday, February 4th. Last night, many content creators and streamers took to social media to confirm the existence of the game, along with Respawn themselves, promoting their reveal stream today.

While a mainline Titanfall sequel was confirmed to be in development by Respawn, it is unknown if that project had morphed into Apex Legends or if the original project is still in the works. Respawn, who EA purchased in December 2017, is also scheduled to release an upcoming Star Wars game later this year, titled Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order.

Apex Legends is now available on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC (Origin). For more information, tune into Respawn Entertainment’s deep-dive stream on the game starting at 3 PM EST/12 PM PST.

For updates on Apex Legends, follow us on Twitter and Facebook, and keep it locked in at Bonus Accessory.

Advertisements

The Accidental Attraction of Kingdom Hearts

When you tell most stories surrounding an attraction, usually they contain many of the similar tropes; one of which is the unexpectedness of the feeling. When I look back on many of my fondest gaming memories, I can see why I fell in love with those specific games. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was the first time I experienced a deep narrative experience in gaming, Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End is the first time I truly felt that the gaming medium had matched the presentation level of big budget cinema coupled with great gameplay, and the Halo series was the first time I was truly able to attach fierce competitiveness in gaming. Yet, there’s one series that somehow sticks out, that even after all these years, I can’t truly put my finger on why it has stayed so endearing to me: Kingdom Hearts.

Maybe it’s because my early years of gaming rooted me into Nintendo’s ecosystem of games. When I first received my Nintendo 64 at the age of 5 in 1998, Final Fantasy had started to become a relic of years past on Nintendo’s hardware. With the success of Final Fantasy VII (and VIII to follow in the upcoming year), the Sony PlayStation had all but cemented itself as the new home of the series, and while I did go onto own multiple PlayStation systems, the series always appeared to me as a grittier and grown up version of what The Legend of Zelda had to offer (see, the marketing campaigns for the PlayStation did work on feeble minds like mine). Seeing that cover of Final Fantasy VII, with Cloud Strife standing heroically showing off his large Buster Sword to fans, made me think “Woah, this guy is cool. I want to play as him”. Yet, I never had the chance to play Final Fantasy VII until years later, due largely because of the Teen rating (yes, my parents were those kind of parents up until I was about 10), so when the next generation of gaming rolled around, I HAD to make sure I got a PlayStation 2. “I can’t miss out on Final Fantasy” I remember thinking constantly (clearly oblivious to the fact that the series was multi-platform due to me being an unknowing 8 or 9 year old kid). Final Fantasy was always the series that was the untouchable for me. Everything I saw about it attracted me to it, but it was always on the system I didn’t have growing up or it was rated too mature for my age. That was, until I saw the trailer for Kingdom Hearts.

Remember how popular Disney Stores used to be? In the late 1990s and early 2000s, it seemed as though they were in a staple in every mall across America. Clear as day, I remember going into our local mall with my mother and sister, who was around the age of three at the time, so the Disney Store was always a given stop when we’d venture to the mall. Remembering they had sections of Disney-based games, I hurried to the back where the wall of TVs were found to scope out the selection (if it had something to do with gaming, I’d always be up for it). While digging through the piles of Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers and Extremely Goofy Skateboarding, something caught my eye; it was Cloud Strife on one of the TVs on the store display. ‘What’s he doing in the Disney Store? This must be a mixup’ I thought. Then, I saw Goofy and Donald in the background, in what looked to be a level surrounding Hercules. Eyes glued to the glass screen, I began to get lost in this complex idea of meshing the vibe and characters of Final Fantasy with so many beloved characters of my childhood from Disney. To be honest, I’m still not sure if I truly understood what I was watching. So many thoughts went through my head. Confusion? Sure. Unique? Definitely. Interested? Absolutely. Kingdom Hearts flashed across the screen. Instantly, the name was ingrained in my brain, and I began plotting on how to get the game. Christmas was too far off, so I did every chore under the sun that a 9 year old kid could think off. Doing the dishes, cleaning the house, taking the dog for a walk around the block, helping my dad cut some fire wood; anything to help stuff my piggy bank with my weekly $5 allowance. After weeks of saving (and a lucky price drop), I strolled into EB Games (yes, they were still a things in the US in 2002), and picked up the game. I’ll never forget that holographic cover. The way the shades of deep blue made the florescent heart shaped moon pop on the cover was unfathomable at the time. It still holds a special place in my heart in terms of video game covers. Popping that disc in my PS2’s disc tray for the first time was quite magical. From the first time I stepped onto Destiny Islands, I was hooked. Back when memory cards were still a thing, I remember needing to leave my PS2 running because I didn’t have one yet to save my game. This resulted in one long weekend of getting little outdoor exercise, and playing through the adventure without turning my system off over the span of three days. Surprisingly, my PS2 is still working to this day.

Maybe it was the idea of including such a known property in Disney to Final Fantasy‘s fantastical world that attracted me. Disney has never been one to shy away from the gaming industry, releasing video games with various characters of theirs dating back to 1981; yet, the company has always remained quite guarded when allowing outside entities handle their own intellectual property. With the success of the Kingdom Hearts series being so well known, it seems hard to imagine that the now storied chance meeting between series creator and Square Enix employee Tetsuya Nomura and a Disney executive in their shared office complex elevator was a major key (get it?) to making this series a reality, but it was quite different during the sixth console generation. While other developers had handled Disney IP in the past, Kingdom Hearts was the first time I truly remembered seeing Disney characters sharing the stage with other entities in gaming.

Maybe it was the way the series grew with me, as it moved into its sequels. Square Enix and Disney Interactive’s first entry in the collaborative series was very much designed to be warm and welcome, using its art direction and simplistic (comparative to later entries, that is) storyline to target a younger demographic. While I loved my time with the original entry, I saw myself leaning towards a new experiences in gaming. Halo and Xbox Live became a pillar in time spent gaming, and my Xbox began to take more precedence over my PlayStation 2. Yet, when Kingdom Hearts II was first revealed at E3 2004 I found myself intrinsically drawn back into the zany yet loving mashup. Retrospectively looking at the footage shown in 2004, much more of the game’s JRPG innards were on display, showing a much more engaging, deep, and even mature narrative this time around. Death was real. The idea of actuality was real. Themes that took a deep approach to the once simplistic storyline were largely present in the sequel; much of which I found myself attracted to as I began to grow. As the series began to transpire and grow, so did I. Sure, as the series has continued to produce side entry after side entry the more convoluted the narrative became, but it balanced the perfect balance of tropes its original entry was known for and the integrated JRPG elements.

Maybe I’ll never know exactly what draws me to Kingdom Hearts. Hell, I still find it hard to believe that Kingdom Hearts III is actually releasing today. Since the credits rolled on the second mainline entry in 2006, many fans have been waiting patiently to see the conclusion of this storyline in the overarching Kingdom Hearts universe, including myself. Since we’re delving into the past, it’s fascinating to see how often this series has been attached to larger moments in my life, to an extent. Getting through those awkward preteen years, to junior high heartbreaks, to playing through the original entries leading into my college graduation, to my fiancée preordering the game as a gift for me when I graduated from grad school in 2016; somehow this unique, and quite frankly odd, offshoot of a gaming series has somehow remained close to me. Life is a funny thing.

Cheers to everyone who, like this author, have waited almost 13 years to see the release of Kingdom Hearts III. Hopefully, the wait is worth it to you.

It’s weird how some of the best memories and moments happen accidentally.

RUMOR: PlayStation 5 Details Leak, Mid-2019 Reveal, 2020 Release

On the heels of Sony and PlayStation’s announce regarding their absence at E3 2019, we may now have the possible reasoning behind that decision, and oh boy, is it a megaton bomb.

In a recent Reddit post on r/PS4 subreddit posted yesterday, user u/RuthenicCookie correctly predicted the announcement by Sony to miss the upcoming expo, and he seems to have quite a bit of more information surrounding the announcement and its focus is on one thing: Sony’s fifth generation home console, the PlayStation 5.

While in the thread revolving around the correctly predicted announcement, another user asked u/RuthenicCookie if there is anything else he knows, in which he responded (warning: graphic metaphor is used):

PS experience returning, Most devs already have dev kits for ps5 ( Spoiler: It’s a monster), Sony prepping hard for ps5 and one of the reason for no e3 next year because they blew all their load this year and got nothing new to show next year (They want to show new stuff at psx)

When asked by another user if he/she should expect actual PlayStation 5 “stuff” at PSX 2019, and if the event will be a reveal event for the system, u/RuthenicCookie responded:

Small reveal mid 2019, Big one at psx, Plans might change though

When asked to confirm the mid-2019 soft reveal by the same user, u/RuthenicCookie responded:

Remember the very first ps4 reveal ? Something like that but hey then again Plans might change

When giving a rebuttal by another user insinuating that if the company reveals anything regarding the PlayStation 5 around mid-2019, it could possibly kill their PS4 sales, u/RuthenicCookie responded:

They are almost at 100 million, It already ascendant immortality in Sony’s eyes

When asked to elaborate on the definition of monster when describing the PlayStation 5, u/RuthenicCookie replied:

4K/60 stable and at the same time kinda monster

When to touch on information pertaining to launch titles to the system, u/RuthenicCookie responded:

Tlou 2, Death Stranding, That samurai game and off course the main event

KNACK III BABY jk

While acknowledging the joke of another Knack installment, u/RuthenicCookie responded to a comment asking if the other titles would be cross-generation title by saying:

Can’t say for sure about Ghost of Tsushima, Death Stranding is still in polishing stage, Sony doesn’t want to make them ps5 exclusives because they advertised them as ps4 games the first times but then again all 3 games has no official release (Publicly) thus no preorder soo the plans might change

One user delved into speculation regarding specs for the system, thinking it could be on the performance visually of a GTX 1080/1080 TI with ray-tracing feature, along with 11.5 teraflops of power, 16GBs of GDDR6 RAM, and UHD Blu-Ray support, to name a few. He/she also hypothesized the price being at the $399 price point. u/RuthenicCookie responded by stating:

Only thing i can tell right now for specs is Ryzen 8 core, Price is 500$

PS VR 2 on the other hand will have no breaker box this time around it’ll be inside the console

Another user asked for u/RuthenicCookie to touch on exclusives and their release timeframe, in which he responded saying:

Mostly on both but obviously going to be made for the PS5, Most developers already has the dev kit for ps5 and from what I’ve heard EA is testing Anthem on it

Edit : Anthem is a mess on This gen Consoles, Going to get delayed again

When asked to elaborate on the release schedule to multiple users, u/RuthenicCookie responded in the following ways:

March 2020 or November 2020

1.5-2 years from now, It’s coming out in 2020. They want March 2020 but might get pushed to November 2020

You still with me? While this should all be taken with the biggest grain of salt possible, the accuracy that the original poster had with the E3 announcement does lend him some credence, due to how specific of an announcement it is.

In sticking with the Reddit vibe of this rumor, let’s wrap this up with the “tl;dr” (too long; didn’t read) version of this massive rumor:

  • PlayStation Experience is returning in 2019, it will be used as a massive blowout for the PlayStation 5, with the system getting a “soft” reveal in mid-2019 (similar to how the PS4 was first announced). The leaker does stress that like everything in the gaming industry, plans could always change.
  • Release is looking at being 1.5-2 years from now, putting the system at a March 2020 or November 2020 release. While the leaker says the company would like to hit the March 2020 date for release, they will push to November 2020 to be ready for the holiday season.
  • The system runs 4K/60 FPS consistent, at the same time.
  • While he can’t for sure confirm that Ghost of Tsushima will be a cross-generational game, Death Stranding (which is in the polishing phase) and the Last of Us Part 2 will be. The company doesn’t want to make them PlayStation 5 exclusives due to their previous advertisement for the PlayStation 4, but all are being built for the PlayStation 5 (similar to the way the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was handle on Wii U and Switch).
  • The leaker mentioned that EA is testing Anthem on it currently, and that the game is currently a “mess” on current generation console, and as a result will be delayed again.
  • The only thing the leaker can confirm in terms of the hardware specs is that it is using a Ryzen 8 Core CPU.
  • The price is currently set at $500.
  • PlayStation VR 2 is mentioned as well. It won’t have a separate processing box, with all computing power being handled internally on the PlayStation 5.

Remember: these are by no means set in stone and should be taken at face value as RUMORS; but given the leakers current trend of very specific accuracy, this could potentially be big news down the road.

 

For updates on the speculation surround the inevitable PlayStation 5, be sure to follow us on Twitter at @BonusAccessory, and keep it locked in on Bonus Accessory.

Sunset Overdrive’s PC Version Preorder Available on Amazon, 11/16

Insomniac Games is having quite the banner year, launching its critically acclaimed Marvel’s Spider-Man on the PlayStation 4 this past September, and from the sounds of it, they may not be quite done yet.

Rumors of Insomniac Games porting over its Xbox exclusive, 2014’s Sunset Overdrive, to PC began ramping up over the past few weeks, including a rating listing on the ESRB website. While Insomniac has yet to publicly confirm the port is happening, the game has just been became available for preorder on Amazon, with a release date of November 16th, 2018.

The listing, which was first noticed by popular Twitter user @Wario64, promotes the game, including all previously released DLC, for $19.99 USD. Many were expecting to see the game game get a PC announcement at this year’s X018 Fan Fest in Mexico City, but was not mentioned during the show. While Microsoft seems to still be publishing the IP digitally, newly revamped publisher THQ Nordic will be handling the physical distribution of the game, which could’ve played into its absence at the fan event this past Saturday.

Originally released exclusively on Xbox One in 2014, Sunset Overdrive welcomes you to the “Awesomepocalypse”, with a city overrun by mutants in the year 2027. Due to an energy drink gone wrong, it’s up to you and your remaining survivors join forces to escape the city and live to see another day of awesomeness. It currently sits at a score of 81 on MetaCritic, and is also a member of the ever growing library of games available on Xbox Game Pass.

 

For more updates regarding Sunset Overdrive and its possible PC release, be sure to follow us on Twitter at @Bonus Accessory, and keep it right here on Bonus Accessory.

 

Gaming with Anxiety and OCD

Close your eyes for a second (just do me a solid, and throw me a bone on this one).

I want you to think about something you are passionate about. This could be anything; a hobby, your profession, a certain relationship; whatever.

Now, create subcategories about that passion. This could be done in multiple ways. You could make a pros and cons list, or a bullet point list breakdown of the composition of said passion.

You did that? Great! Now, take those subcategories and breakdown those. After that, then take those results, and give an outcome result for each of those. Following that, take those results, and for each one make a Venn diagram for each result.

Are you seeing a trend here?

You’re probably looking at that and thinking “well damn, I didn’t realize I was writing a graduate thesis on critical thinking in terms of ‘X'”. In following those preceding steps, while it might be rewarding for most people, it would still be time consuming right?

Now imagine doing all of that internally, in the span of seconds. Constantly. On repeat.

Doesn’t sound too interesting, especially in a positive light, does it?

It’s hard to put into words what it is like having anxiety issues, specifically related to OCD. Another way I try to explain anxiety and OCD to people is its relation to a ferris wheel. You start in one cart, and slowly it begins to load up different carts, until it is full and then just continuously revolves in the same circle over and over again. Your brain will start with one thought/idea, begin breaking down that idea, piece by piece, until you think you found the solution (or end) to it, only to then keep revolving around it.

So you’re probably asking: “How does this relate to gaming?” Well, I originally asked you to pick something you’re passionate about to evaluate. Me personally? Gaming is my passion.

I have been gaming for as long as I can remember (Big boy of 25 now. Never grow up, kids). But to answer the question on how this relates to gaming, one must travel back in time (que up that Back to the Future music, Doc) to understand how impactful gaming has been to my development into the man-child-boy I am today. There are multiple cliche answers to the “what’s your earliest memory of gaming?”, but I actually have three (just because I don’t know which one happened first, but they all had to be around the same age). The funny thing about these memories, is they all include my dad. I use that connotation, not as a negative, but in an ironic fashion, because my dad is the furthest thing from a “gamer”. He’s getting more and more acclimated to modern day technology as of late. He is now on Facebook with almost 60 friends, has a smart phone, and coming from someone who says they never wanted to be on “the grid”, he’s beginning to acclimate well; but point being, his hobbies never were based around it.

While I can’t confirm it’s for sure the first, I’m almost positive my first gaming memory is playing Kung Fu on the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) with my dad. I couldn’t have been older than four. What’s weird about this scenario, is that neither of my parents were gamers but we had an NES in our home. No idea how it got there, but somehow it was there. I’m pretty sure it went to one of my grandparents’ houses shortly after, due to my next memory.

Following that was getting the Nintendo 64 for Christmas in 1997 or 1998, aka the BEST Christmas ever (outside of my fiancee and I getting engaged last Christmas season obviously…love you, don’t kill me). Even though I vaguely remember it, the one thing I do remember is my parents setting it up for me right after opening it up, and my dad and I playing Mario Kart 64 all morning. I could always tell my dad wasn’t crazy about video games, but he could tell how entranced I was over the medium, that he always was up to play with me.

The last memory may be my favorite though, due to how much of an effect this game had on me. I couldn’t have been older than five, and I had just heard about this game called the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I was at my cousin’s house, and I remember being in his room with him, and out of the corner of my eye I caught this shimmer of gold. I walk over to his pile of Nintendo 64 games, and pull out this gold painted cartridge, with a papyrus-styled label that read “the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time”. Noticing my sudden peak in curiosity, my cousin asked if I have played it yet, in which I replied no. Without even asking, he turned it on and let me play. From the moment that teal-tinted, polygon “Nintendo 64” came across the screen, followed by the patter of hooves and peaceful melody pouring from the speaking during the title screen, I was hooked. I just remember being so enthralled over just the idea of it; the storytelling, the pageantry, the mysticism (all of which I couldn’t contextualize like so until I was older). All I knew was that I needed this game. It wasn’t a want, it was a NEED. Being the obvious intellect I was at five, I already knew how to butter up my parents. So when my dad asked me to ride on the mower with him to cut grass, I instantly jumped on that 1-on-1 opportunity to do my sales pitch. I remember telling him about the game, and describing things in such detail, that any sane person would think this kid is probably crazy. But my dad, been the incredible person he is, must’ve seen how passionate I was about it. Naturally, like most parents do, he hit me with the “well, maybe if you’re good Santa Claus will bring you it.” My heart sank; not because I wouldn’t possibly get it (well, maybe a bit of that), but just because of the thought of time between that time and Christmas. It was at the latest mid-summer. That wait would’ve probably killed me. Luckily, my dad was sly enough to surprise me with it later that week. Still to this day, I hold that game as my personal favorite game of all time. Nothing touches it.

Now that all of that mumbo-jumbo is out of the way, let’s be real: What does that have to do with anything? It’s video games, who cares. Well, in terms of my personal composition, it actually has a lot to do with it. Since that first memory, I haven’t stopped gaming. Like I said, my parents weren’t gamers. They thought everything was either Mario or “Pokemans” (I grew up in the 90s and early 2000s, their assumption had a solid chance of being right more times than not, if I’m being honest); but they never discouraged my love for gaming. Did they limit it so I could focus on homework and for playing sports, hanging with friends, etc? Obviously. Every parent should, and I always did have other interests as well, but they never discouraged my passions. They always supported them, and as I continued to grow, gaming stayed as that passion and grew with me. From the Nintendo 64 to the Playstation 2 and PC gaming, to the Xbox and my love for a little unknown series called Halo, to then the Xbox 360 and Wii, to now the current generation (I own all platforms now. Being an adult with a decent income has some positives. Suck it, nerdz!); my passion for this beautiful expression of interactivity continued to blossom.

Let’s fast forward a bit now, to a ripe and fresh out of high school Travis. A few years ago, I was going through some changes. After my freshman year, I decided to transfer to a school closer to home, for a multitude of reason. During this process, I suffered from my first true battle with vivid and serious depression. Depression is funny, it doesn’t work like most illnesses do. It will sit and lay low, but fester consistently in the back of your head, like a parasite, sucking the happiness out of you (I promise this story gets better and isn’t that dark). Never have I ever been to the point where I wanted to take my own life, nor will I ever get to that point, but even though I never think that is the right choice to make, I can see why depression pushes people to that level. It’s like a blanket that can suffocate you at times. Over the past few years though, I’ve found out that I have had anxiety related issues that have been causing me this, and a lot of it leads to the condition known as obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD.

Most people have probably heard of OCD. In all seriousness, it is an extremely common condition, that many people go un-diagnosed with and can live completely normal lives. I’d like to think I’m one of those people. Mental illnesses, for the most part, aren’t like a broken bone, or high blood pressure, where doctors can visible see through various metrics what is causing the issues you are having. Now, everything comes with exceptions, and in some cases one visible thing could be playing into various mental illness issues, but more often than not, a doctor can’t just take a peak at you and say “yup, you’re depressed” or “oh yeah, you definitely have anxiety related issues”. It just doesn’t work like that.

It’s something that is addressed via a multitude of methods. The biggest thing you can do is to talk to someone. Period. Holding back just helps inhabit and grow the issues at hand. You specifically see this in males, where you’re taught to be strong and that talking about your feeling or showing emotions at times makes you a “pussy” or a “bitch”. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m grateful that I have parent who have always taught me to never be ashamed to express what you’re feeling; that nothing is ever as bad as you think it is. The first time I talked to a therapist about my depression and anxiety related issues in 2012, I stopped going after the second session. I went in the next session on a “up” day and felt that I had defeated whatever it was that was making me feel anxious and depressed, when in all reality I just didn’t want to talk about how I was truly feeling. Don’t do that, don’t stop after one try. It takes time, because guess what? Those feelings? Yeah, they came back (shocker, I know).

Then, there’s medication. There might be a bigger misconception over anti-depressive medication comparative to everything else in this ecosystem. People think you just pop a pill and you’re good in a day or two. Yeah, that’s just not the way it works. Straight up not the case, at all. Most anti-depressives take months to see changes in mood or anxiety levels, and due to our instant-gratification-oriented society, many never stay with it long enough to see those results. Not to mention there are like seven trillion different kinds. This one helps with mood swings, but you can’t get an erection. This one lowers anxiety levels, but you can’t sleep (most do help with sleep…you get what I’m trying to say). If you think you’re experiencing issues with your mental health, don’t expect to find the right medication for you right off the bat (at least more often than not. Remember, there’s always an exception). Both therapy and medication are only useful if you’re willing to let them work, and that all relies on talking and opening up.

For as long as I can remember, gaming has been the way I cope with my mental health issues. If I ever feel like I’ve had a long day, or that I’m stressed about something, I chill out, pop a game in and zone out for a couple of hours. But sometimes, that can work against you. I will start obsessing over time. How much time am I spending playing games? Is that enough? Is that too much? Am I not doing something I should be? What do people think about me liking this? Am I not doing what people think I should be doing? All of this is over my favorite entertainment medium. It sucks. While I know those are all irrational things and methods of logically addressing things, the way that my brain diagnoses these situations is in the ferris wheel metaphor; a continuous loop. In these instances, I will crunch numbers and overreact to the clock, as if it was a race to a certain time limit that I have, instead of enjoying this art (yes, video games are a form of art, quote me) that the developers, publisher, marketing teams, etc have dumped thousands of hours into making.

In a weird way though, my OCD tenancies have made me more detail oriented (not worth the headaches though, trust me). I’m inclined to finish more games in a complete fashion now. I go out of my way to try to be perfect in an area. I try to get all of the collectibles, if it isn’t a drag to do. Little things like that, which force me to get more out of the game and appreciate all of the detail the developer put into the product. Along with that, I focus on trying to get more trophies (Playstation) and achievements (Xbox). I love pulling up a trophy/achievement list for a game and just setting goals for myself to achieve. It’s one of the weirdly gratifying feelings in games, that you normally don’t get anything from; you can’t spend Xbox gamerscore on anything, same with Playstation trophies. It’s just one of those things that scratches that completionist itch I have now. Recently, the PS4 exclusive Mavel’s Spider-Man, by Insomniac Games, was so awe-inspiring and captivating, that I went out of my way to make sure I got the Platinum trophy (100%ing the base game). That was my first platinum trophy. Honestly, I never thought I’d want to do that. It always seemed to long and drawn out, but with the always evolving games industry, more games are becoming deeper and more polished that it makes you want to explore each nook and cranny. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I finish ever game I buy (although I am more buyer conscious now). As my guy Greg Miller, the IGN legend and Kinda Funny ring leader (check them out, they’re amazing) says “there’s too many games and no time for bad games”.

But how do I handle when anxiety and my OCD get in the way of enjoying my passions? Just like I do with most of my problems: talk it out. And if there is no one there to do that, guess what? Talk to yourself. No, I’m serious, talk to yourself. People will think that sounds crazy, but don’t lie, we’ve all done it. Christ, I think I talk to myself more than anyone on the planet. I think that’s why I enjoy streaming so much when I have the time to do so. I get at MOST 10 people watching at a time (I think my average is 5 or something. I know, big shit poppin’ homie). A lot of the time I’m just talking to talk; to be heard in some capacity, even if it’s just by big old T-White himself. Just getting something that is stuck in your head out that is bothering you does wonders, man. Kinda like in that Spongebob episode where his breath stinks and he thinks he is ugly and doing the “I’m ugly and I’m proud!” yell (I’ll embed that video below just because Spongebob is the man). And if you’re pissed off, grab a pillow and scream as loud as you can into the sum bitch. Let it out. It feels amazing, man.

Most importantly, you know what the biggest thing suggestion I can make for what I do (and sometimes need to do more of) to help in these situation? It’s simple: Do whatever you do that makes YOU happy. Not anyone else. If beat-boxing is your thing, you do you. If working out and eating clean (personally , Team Fat lifetime member here, but I respect you), you do you. If playing the fiddle naked is your thing (while probably illegal to do outdoors, keep it inside cuzzo), you do you. Personally, I’m a big old nerd. I love playing video games. It’s hands down, my favorite entertainment mediums, and right now we are in a new golden age of gaming (remember, there are always exceptions). There are so many beautifully crafted stories and worlds, realized at an impeccable level of detail and grandeur, that there is no time better start or continue gaming. Gaming is my thing, and guess what? I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, and neither should anyone else about anything you like. YOU. DO. YOU.

I’ll be honest, I’m not completely sure why I wrote this. I for sure wasn’t looking for any kind of sympathy. I guess it was to just let people know that if you’re struggling from a mental health related issue, and it is affecting the things you love, that you’re not alone; and that it sucks, and I may not have the answers, but I know somethings work for me and may work for you. In any capacity, mental health awareness should be at an all time high right now. It’s real. It’s not a joke. Suicide in relation to mental illness is even realer. We as a society need to wake up and realize what is going on, and reach out a hand.

No matter what though, always remember:

You are NEVER alone.

You are ALWAYS worth it.

Things are NEVER as bad as they seem.

Things will ALWAYS get better.

You are ALWAYS loved.

It is OK to be NOT OK.

And most importantly, it is OK to enjoy the things you enjoy.